Farley's Back!

Farley is back! He's over his sickness and raring to go!!! I gave him a few weeks off to recover and he did a bit of traveling with his brother, Harley. You remember Harley, the motorcycle guy?! Well, they decided that since Farley is getting on up in age that they would take a trip on their "Steel Horses"(aka: motorcycles) and go visit their family in California. Lord knows, at Farley's age, he may not be able to make another trip... sad but true.

Well, along the way, Farley and Harley stopped off to see Buck E. Rew, the Llama Cowboy. Yes, you remember him from a Thanksgiving trip a couple of years ago. Well, seems that Buck was struck by his favorite llama named Duck. Why would anyone name a llama "Duck"? What's that? Oh... Farley says it's because Duck likes to swim in their tank(pond) there on Buck's ranch in Yuma, AZ. Anyway, Duck struck Buck in the head and has caused some unfortunate things to happen with the ole Llama Cowboy. He didn't seem to remember Farley at all and chased him off of the ranch. The photo is an old file photo, seeing as Farley didn't get a chance to get a new one.

Once in California, Farley and Harley met up with Marley and the girls(Farley's family) for dinner in Bakersfield. They're all doing fine and lined up for their traditional photo on the staircase. Most families use fireplaces, but not the Wells family! They like to show off their home, so it's outdoor on the staircase.

Farley and Harley left Bakersfield and headed up to San Francisco, ironically enough, the same place Kim and I went in April. Seems as if he went to a lot of the same places as us and even stayed in the same hotel! Looks like the exact same room!!! That's weird!

Well, he wanted to show you some pictures from his trip since I never did post any from our trip. He's not in any of them though... What's that Farley? Oh, he was taking the shots, that's why. Understandable. Anyway, after leaving San Fran, they rode their "Steel Horses" down highway 1, stopping along the way to get a few photos. I'll leave you with a few shots of that trip.
I just want to say before doing so, Welcome Home Farley! It's good to see you back at Dubya, Inc.

First photo is the view from his 33rd floor room at the Westin in downtown SF.
Next we have a view from the "other side" of the Golden Gate Bridge.
Next is a view from Highway 1 on the way down the central coast .
Then we have a view of the beach and boardwalk at Santa Cruz...
Farley and Harley also visited some shops in beautiful Carmel By the Sea.
And last, along the way, was the snowy Grand Canyon... couldn't really see much of it since the snow was blowing so hard.
-approved by a happy Farley Wells, CMDI.

Farley's Sick

Farley said he's not feeling well. I told him to go home and rest because he just doesn't look like his usual self... -approved by a snorting Farley Wells, CMDI.

We... Sure Are Thankful Day.

Well, it's that time of year again. Time to make Farley Wear horrid outfits in order to display his enthusiasm for the Holiday season. This year, for Thanksgiving, he unwillingly decided to wear his headdress from his ancestral tribe: The Northsouthland Farleticonto Tribe.

Legend has it, the Farleticonto Tribe was one of the first tribes to greet the Pilgrims who arrived on the Augustflower, which ironically arrived just three months after the Mayflower. As the original pilgrims and Indians, the Farleticonto Tribe was very kind to their new found friends who arrived in the Northsouthland area, now known as a rural area just at the Northeastern tip of South Carolina near the Little River. Legend has it that the Augustflower left at approximately the same time as the Mayflower, but somehow got lost somewhere in the Indian Ocean. I'd say they were lost, seeing as the Atlantic was where they needed to be. Not too bright, these pilgrims!! Anyway, once landing in Northsouthland, the pilgrims were starving to say the least. They had traveled way out of the way and ran out of food, somewhere along the horn of Africa where they encountered those pesky Somalian Pirates, who plague us to this day.

Anyway, the Farleticonto Tribe, lead by Chief Farlelaletawa, don't ask me how to say it, invited the tired and hungry pilgrims to eat, drink, and be merry. After which, the pilgrims decided to declare the day they landed in Northsouthland an official holiday. Too bad they landed three months too late, for they were told by the Farleticonto Tribe that this had already been done a bit earlier. However, the pilgrims were persistent and declared it a holiday anyway: "We Got Lost, Robbed, Were Starving, Landed in Northsouthland, and Sure Are Thankful Day."

As you can see, it didn't have quite the ring of "Thanksgiving" so it didn't last, but to this day, Farley drags out the yellow headdress and wears it on "We Got Lost, Robbed, Were Starving, Landed in Northsouthland, and Sure Are Thankful Day." When that day is, I don't know. Farley won't say, but we know it's somewhere around three months after the Mayflower landed.

Who knew??

-approved by Farley Wells, CMDI who assures me this story is true.

Oh Farley!!

If you've ever wondered what Farley Wells looks like without a hat, here he is!!!
It's a rare occasion that I catch him without a hat, but he had the day off and was approving some posts for me via video phone and I caught him.

No, really, this is a gift that my mom got me as a "I can't believe I found this, Gift." This dolls name is actually Farley, and as you can read on his shirt, he's up to no good! I'm not sure where she found it, but his name caught her attention and she couldn't "pass" him up.

For all of those who are offended at the "F" word used for a expelling methane gas from the body, I will refrain from using it and tell you the other part of his name. His name is "F__tin' Farley" also known as "Passing Gas Farley." All you have to do is, as his shirt says, "Pull My Finger", and you'll have hours of fun. I know I have!

Thank you Momma, for such a heart felt gift. Now all I need is a hat for him!

-approved with a look much similar to the picture, by Fartley Wells, SAD-CMDI.

Respite

For those who have wondered what happened to ‘Dubya’, well… Farley has been on a trip in a portion of the country where he didn’t have internet access for approving of posts, so we took a few days off.
Farley, however, was very busy during his vacation last week. He traveled up through the Rockies, where he bungeed off of the Royal Gorge Bridge, left there and drove into Idaho where he picked a potato from a farm, and drove on into Canada where he spent several days camping along side the highway in his Coleman Tent. He said the camping was peaceful except for the rude interruptions by the Canadian Highway Patrol, wondering what he was doing camping beside a highway. Can’t do anything anymore, I tell you!
His ventures took him to Revelstoke, B.C., Canada, where he discovered the Three Valley Gap Chateau and ghost town. Three Valley Gap has many attractions such as the beach on Three Valley Lake....... where Farley pitched his tent on Wednesday night of last week. He discovered that you can’t get good rest in a tent. For some reason, police, highway patrol, mounted patrol, and all types of law enforcement are attracted to tents pitched in public areas with an old man in them! Anyway, he said he really enjoyed the ghost town, even though he spent all day Thursday in jail. The police didn’t take too kindly to Farley’s joke about pigs.
On Farley’s way home, he stopped off in Yellowstone National Park, where he could camp, undisturbed by law enforcement, or anything else for that matter… except the large grizzly that smelled his food he forgot to set outside the tent. Poor Farley just couldn’t get any rest! The bear came close to attacking Farley, but he was able to stop it with his Coleman Pole, ironically enough, that he had holding up the center of his tent. He grabbed the pole from the center of the tent, swung it at the bear and hollered, “I’m a monkey! I’m a MONKEY!!!” I don’t know where that came from either, but I’ve never been attacked by a bear, so I might say something weird like that too! Anyway, the bear looked at the pole and ran off with its tail between its legs, and I didn’t even know they had tails that long.
Farley felt pretty confident and was able to sleep peacefully the rest of the trip.
On his way back into Texas, Farley stopped by the Cadillac Ranch on I-40 and spray painted “Farley Was Here” on the fender of a 58 model Cadillac and was chased halfway home by the owner of the classic car. Farley, you’re supposed to paint the ones out in the field!! Oh my, anyway, he shook the Coleman Pole at the man, stopping him dead in his tracks. Farley smiled, patted the pole and whistled his way home. Who knew a Pole could come in so handy?
I’d like to take this opportunity to say welcome home Farley, thanks for the story! Oh, and we would like to announce our Official endorsement of the Coleman Poll.... OOPS! I mean, Coleman Pole. Hope our Legal Team is ready! -approved by Farley Wells, SAD-CMDI, who is looking at me through the little hole on the end of his Coleman Pole. What a weirdo.

What??

Today, Farley was so excited to receive his Christmas cards he ordered online a few weeks back and was preparing to send them out when he noticed something. They were supposed to say "Merry Christmas" at the top and "From Farley" across the bottom. Well, much to his dismay, the cards happened to be in a different language. It's quite funny, but I do feel bad for Farley. He worked so hard on his Christmas photo. Fortunately, Farley is fluent in "Nepali" so he interpreted and it says everything correctly. He will have many happy friends in Nepal who, for once, will understand his Christmas card this year! Has this ever happened to anyone else??

-approved by a happy and yet disappointed Farley Wells, CMDI.

Farley Awards

Yes, it's that time of year. Time for Farley to hand out a trophy to all those who have put in long, hard, hours to show the world just what your blog is made of. This year, we have many new award winners taking home the silver cup. In fact, ALL of our winners are new, considering this is the first of such awards given. So, to all, congratulations this year on a job well done. Remember, these results are based on what Farley Wells thinks and does not necessarily reflect the views of the author or his affiliates. Dubya, Inc. holds no responsibility for the outcome, other than minor persuasions here and there......huhmm... Anyway, lets get started:

Best Blog Layout Award - Farley has done extensive research and has viewed each blog considered and has based his results on a tidy, eye catching, original looking blog. There were many to choose from out there, but only one could win the Farley Cup. The 2007 Best Blog Layout Award goes to The Holley Life and Times. Congratulations!!

I Forgot I Had A Blog Award - This award was a difficult one to choose. There seems to be many people who have seemed to forget they even have a blog. They create one and then just walk away. Why? We don't know. This year's award for the most forgotten blog goes to someone who went above and beyond and seemed to have left her blog in San Francisco. Congratulations Priscilla!!!

I Change My Profile Photo More Than Anyone Award - This award goes to a young lady who seems to change her profile pic more than she changes her posts!! Again, why? We don't know. I wonder if she's a close friend to the previous award winner?? Congratulations to none other than Sis. Kassie and your "Bog."

Best Poll Analyst Award - This award goes to a close friend who made a tremendous move and created a much broader viewing audience by hiring an employee. We know this because his new employee told us so. Congratulations to Aprelle Coleman, Poll Analyst for the Dialogue of Joseph James

Most Cheerful Blog Award - This award goes to a highly respected lady whom we all love dearly. Her blog always seems to put a smile on your face and just make you feel good just by reading it on a daily basis. She recently topped 50,000 hits and still counting. The blog is called Echoes from the Elms. Congratulations Sis. Elms! See, there's another reason to smile!

Most Slideshows Award - We can probably all figure this one out pretty quick. She's all ready won one award tonight. She probably has more slideshows on her blog than Rockyou.com could ever produce and we all sit, watch, and enjoy no matter if there's two pictures on it or 200!! Once again, the winner is Sis. Elms!!

Most Memorable Post Award - This award humbled me. Farley looked way back in the archives to find this one from a blog my wife and I started a year ago. It's a post most all of you will remember of the ill fated day the black purse went on to it's reward. My dog made it possible and tonight the Most Memorable Post Award is Jorgie's Criminal Offense. Thank you Farley for your thoughtfulness.

Most Random Picture Award - This award is an "in-house" award given to the most random picture displayed on "Dubya, Inc." or it's affiliate "Kim and Lynn." We had a tie and decided to let it stand. This pic of Kassie and this one of.... well, Jorgie and I mixed topped the list at number 1.

Best "My Celebrity Look Alikes" Award - This award came as a shock to me, but yet it didn't. A very deserving winner of the Farley Cup, Don't you think?

Most Humorous Blog Award - The winner of this award keeps Farley and I in stitches most of the time. I think its because I share a similar sense of humor with him. I visit his blog on a consistent basis and always seem to actually "LOL" when I read it. Congratulations Bruce! Keep the Humorousness.... or Humorocity flowin'!

And last but not least, we have The #1 Farley Fan Award - This award goes to a person who goes above and beyond the call of duty to show that they are a true "Farley Fan." They don't have a Farley Fan logo on their blog(which I'm working on.) They actually live their "Fan-hood." This year's Farley Cup for the #1 Farley Fan goes to...... oh my goodness!!! A THIRD award winner of the night!!! Sis. Elms!!! Congratulations and thank you for all you do to show what a true Farley Fan is.

Join us this time next year for another edition of the Farley Cup Awards.

-approved by Farley Wells, CMDI

A Farley Good Thanksgiving!

Farley left town today to go visit his family in California for the Thanksgiving Holiday. He hasn't really said much about his family so I was very anxious to receive his first pictures from his trip! While on his way to California, Farley stopped off in Yuma, Arizona to see his old friend, Buck E. Rew, the Llama Cowboy. I laughed too!! He said they actually rode llamas around for several hours in the deserts of AZ. I wish he'd have sent the pic of that!!

Upon his arrival to Bakersfield, California, Farley wasted no time with the camera to catch a stunning photo with his younger yet almost old looking siblings. Starting at the top there's his banker brother, Marley, the host of the grand occasion. Next there is Maudeen, his oldest sister. She's a retired telephone operator. Then there's Claudeen, the hotel maid, Naedeen, the housewife, Maedeen, her twin; Marildeen and Caroldeen, the 'other' twins, who happen to own a tortilla factory, and last, but not least, there's Jawdeen. She is a plastic surgeon in the San Francisco area. She specializes in face disfigurement.... yeah, I laughed at that one too! Unfortunately, Harley hasn't made it out there yet, something to do with a mishap at a biker hang-out. Hope he's okay! Anyway, it looks as if Farley is enjoying his Thanksgiving Holiday vacation. Hopefully he'll email me more pics for our viewing pleasure. Is it just me or is this family very blessed in the money department?

So, from Farley and I, have yourself a Happy Thanksgiving!!! Go light on the turkey, Jawdeen says it's bad for your skin tone. Seems it brings out the gray in it...... hmmmmmm.... Farley, you just might want to listen to your little sister.

-approved via satellite from Marley's third floor living area by Farley Wells, CMDI.

Well, unfortunately Farley was late for the plane to San Francisco so he came back home where we decided to do a bit of sight seeing. We first went out to the countryside where we saw a perfect picture of a windmill. Farley was needing some pictures to send to his brother, Harley, so we decided to take a few.

He wanted to show me the latest addition to his 'family' so we drove out by his ranch and saw his new calf named Juanita Bessie, Juanita from his wife's maiden name, Fanny Sue Juanita Wells, for the cow's ears. He said when he looks at Juanita Bessie, he thinks of Fanny Sue. Farley's always been sweet like that. Fanny has kind of a weird maiden name, especially considering there is absolutely NO Hispanic origin in her family. Beats me! Anyway, Bessie is after his daughter, Bessie Sue Wells Frikenhiemer, she married a German dairy farmer, Franklyn Timothy Frikenhiemer, the 4th. Farley found it fitting to name his new milk cow for their profession.

We ended the evening at the lake, just for some fresh air. Lord knows Farley's lookin' a bit gray so he definitely needed the fresh air. Seems as if the lake was really full for this time of year. I guess it's all the rain we had a few months back. Anyway, we had a good time. Sorry the picture of Farley and I together didn't turn out, I was looking so forward to us actually having a picture together, but the little lady at the lake was more concerned about ducks pecking at her heels, than the quality of our picture.... she cut off our heads. I guess that's the price you pay when it's duck season!

Well, I must be off to bed now. I thought I would delay long enough that Kim would call and say she is safely in San Francisco, but I can't come up with anymore pointless stories about Farley and I need to get some sleep, so goodnight.

I'll blog at you tomorrow!

- approved by Farley Wells, CMDI who is currently stuffing a duck to hang on his wall.

#1 Farley Fan!!!

Kudos to Sis. Elms who wins the #1 Farley Fan award for this month. Others have shown there love and support by posting his pic on their blogs and even becoming Charter Members of the Club, but Sis. Elms went above and beyond the call of duty. Thank you Sis. Elms for your display of support to Farley Wells, Campaign Manager Dubya Inc. We tip our hats to you!!!!
- approved with great pride and hat in hand by Farley Wells, CMDI

I Feel Like I Know Him...

I thought I would take this opportunity to make an official welcome to Farley Wells, my new “Campaign Manager.” If you keep up with my blog, then you have read a previous post where he was hired on to “Dubya, Inc.” In doing our extensive background check, we discovered some interesting things about Farley and would like to share them with you all. He so kindly gave us photos to go along with this “mini-biography.”
Farley was born in 1925 to the late Nharles and wife, Fanny Wells. As you can see, at such a young age, he was a thinker, thus the reason for his hire.
Shortly after he turned 18, Farley joined the military to serve his country in WWII, he’s the one circled. Sorry for the poor picture quality, it’s an old one. While serving in the US Army…..HOOOOOAAAHHHH!!!.... Excuse my Army pride; he joined in an Army baseball team. He became quite good at baseball, playing 1st base and backed up as a pitcher. He lead his team in homeruns, but with his powerful swing also came the unfortunate record as the team leader in strikeouts. If he could have just had the patience he has now. He did make the big leagues, playing for the Yanks, but was quickly snuffed out by the limelight of his war buddies, DiMaggio and Mantle.
After his bout with baseball, Farley went on to serve his country in politics. Well, he was in John F. Kennedy’s cabinet. In fact, he was in several presidents cabinets. He fixed many a leak in the pipes of the White House, under their sinks and in their cabinets. That’s right, he was the 1st plumber. You know that plunger in that previous post, atop Kassie’s head, well, that was Farley’s 1st plunger. A many a White House toilets were unstopped by that very plunger, and to think Kassie had that on her head!!
Anyway, Farley now spends his days, when not at work on ‘Dubya,’ riding Cycles with his younger brother Harley Davidson Wells. You guessed it! That’s his brother, he started it ALL!! Who’d have thought?!?

Disclaimer: None of the statements in this post are true. Each statement was fabricated in effort to make certain Lynn doesn’t speak of his job, family, friends, life, or its affiliates in any way shape or fashion on his blog. This post is certified and approved by Farley Wells, CMDI.

A New Employee of 'Dubya'

Due to a new policy emailed out today from our company. I will no longer be "Aloud" by my "Big Brother" to converse about anything to do with our business, it's employees, clients, affiliates or anything else related to the business. I assume that someone, somewhere was stupid with their blog and got the company sued, so now we all must be penalized.
In case you wonder, according to the new policy, I can no longer blog about my friends, our accomplishments as a business, or even my own dad, because of the relation to the funeral home. I can't even say my last name now, because it's associated with the business. I personally feel that it is a violation of my own rights and freedoms to have to do this, but being the outstanding employee I am, I will obey.
We have been told that our blogs, myspace pages, and personal websites will be monitored and any violations will face immediate termination. I didn't know Houston knew I had a blog! Guess they do though. Is that not stupid?!? I guess next, if they don't like the red walls in my living room, they'll fire me. YES, I have red walls!!! This is absurd. So, in the spirit of those who evidently "Rule" over my "OFF WORK LIFE" from Houston, here is a picture of someone we haven't served, and I have not a clue about their life or the things in it and is quite "UNRELATED" to my job, and/or it's affiliates. We'll call this man.... um..... Farley Wells, that's a good name. Farley has never darkened the door of our business, walking or riding, but looks like a pretty nice guy, don't ya think? Wonder if he's had anything interesting happen in his life. We won't know because he has absolutely NOTHING to do with my life, my job, or it's affiliates. That's the beauty of him. Now, WE control what he is and does. Farley, is just a random picture from the Internet who is now famous from the 42.3421 some-odd people who view my page on a daily basis. He's just "Random-Guy" who is keeping our company from being sued. Thank you Mr. Farley Wells for your 'dignity' and faithful service to my blog! I can always count on you to help me, even though I have not a clue who you actually are. You are a man among men!
So, look for Farley. He will soon be placed in a special place on my blog, just to remind me to NOT talk about my job, it's employees, clients or affiliates. Sort of my 'Campaign Manager.' Make sure to make him feel welcome.
What is this world coming to?!?