A New Employee of 'Dubya'

Due to a new policy emailed out today from our company. I will no longer be "Aloud" by my "Big Brother" to converse about anything to do with our business, it's employees, clients, affiliates or anything else related to the business. I assume that someone, somewhere was stupid with their blog and got the company sued, so now we all must be penalized.
In case you wonder, according to the new policy, I can no longer blog about my friends, our accomplishments as a business, or even my own dad, because of the relation to the funeral home. I can't even say my last name now, because it's associated with the business. I personally feel that it is a violation of my own rights and freedoms to have to do this, but being the outstanding employee I am, I will obey.
We have been told that our blogs, myspace pages, and personal websites will be monitored and any violations will face immediate termination. I didn't know Houston knew I had a blog! Guess they do though. Is that not stupid?!? I guess next, if they don't like the red walls in my living room, they'll fire me. YES, I have red walls!!! This is absurd. So, in the spirit of those who evidently "Rule" over my "OFF WORK LIFE" from Houston, here is a picture of someone we haven't served, and I have not a clue about their life or the things in it and is quite "UNRELATED" to my job, and/or it's affiliates. We'll call this man.... um..... Farley Wells, that's a good name. Farley has never darkened the door of our business, walking or riding, but looks like a pretty nice guy, don't ya think? Wonder if he's had anything interesting happen in his life. We won't know because he has absolutely NOTHING to do with my life, my job, or it's affiliates. That's the beauty of him. Now, WE control what he is and does. Farley, is just a random picture from the Internet who is now famous from the 42.3421 some-odd people who view my page on a daily basis. He's just "Random-Guy" who is keeping our company from being sued. Thank you Mr. Farley Wells for your 'dignity' and faithful service to my blog! I can always count on you to help me, even though I have not a clue who you actually are. You are a man among men!
So, look for Farley. He will soon be placed in a special place on my blog, just to remind me to NOT talk about my job, it's employees, clients or affiliates. Sort of my 'Campaign Manager.' Make sure to make him feel welcome.
What is this world coming to?!?