What a Racket!!

Last night, Kim and I, and the guys, went to Braum's for an evening snack. Kim and I walked in the doors of the restaurant first, and almost immediately, I was approached by a scraggly looking middle-aged man with a tennis racket.

This man was about my height, was wearing a flannel looking shirt, unbuttoned, with a print t-shirt underneath and dirty baggy pants. His hair had not felt the luxury of a comb or a wash in what appeared to be a week or longer; all tangled and curly as it exploded from the bottom of his cap, sticking out from his head, resembling the ears of one of those big, ugly poodles that are completly shaved, except for their ears.

I thought to myself, as he walked up, "why me? Why is it always me? Do I have some sign on me that says PICK ME, I'LL GIVE YOU MONEY?" I don't know what gives off that impression because I NEVER carry cash(sorry FPU-ers), and I'm probably the last person to give a hand-out, but if any "panhandler" wants a dime, they'll find me in a crowd.

It happened to me all the time when I lived in Dallas. I'd stop at a red light and some eager window washer would jump up out of nowhere and begin scrubbing my front windshield, just to turn and stick out their hand and expect me to give them some sort of payment for streaking my windshield. I, of course, in an outrage that someone would dare to touch my SUV and think they could do a better job at cleaning it than I, would call them an idiot and drive off, leaving with them cussing at me. I know, pretty Christlike of me, but don't act like you wouldn't do the same thing. You never know what you'll get if you roll that window down! I know I'm not the only one, but it really seems as if they all find me somehow.

Well, last night was no different, this man walks up, points at the racket and says, "See my racket.... LOOK, name brand! For you, $5.00!" Even as slow as my mind may sometimes work, I picked up on what he was doing pretty quick. I told him, "NO" and walked to the ice cream counter; the whole time looking for that off duty police officer that is ALWAYS there when you DON'T need him, and guess what... he wasn't there last night.

Kim always asks me why there's a policeman always hanging around there, and last night, she got her answer. When he's not, people try to sell you rackets!

Well, as the evening went on, each of the guys showed up and only one of them was not approached by the man. The one friend that I would have loved to watch when the man said, "See my racket...." I'm sure he would have gotten the man told real quick, with a priceless expression on his face, EXACTLY what could be done with that racket! But, it didn't happen. However, one other friend had to run out to his car for something and had his run in.... again... apparently, the man had a drug, or alcohol, induced lack of memory of whom he had already approached. He asked the man if he was hungry and offered to take the man in to buy him something; something only he, out of all of us guys, would do. The man politely declined and was quick to inform, as he was hitting up drive-thru customers, that he wanted McDonald's, not Braum's!

As we left, we were approached one last time. This time, there was a discount just for us of $3.00!!! How could we turn that down? Well........... we did! I think he gave up when we left. Last we saw, he was walking down the alley with his "name brand" racket flailing in the air. Hopefully, somebody gave him a ride down to Mickey D's, but I have a feeling that if he did get his $5.00, it probably went to the convience store down the street for some "Happy" drink, instead of a Happy Meal.

Economic Stimulus at its finest!!

-approved by Farley Wells, SAD-CMDI, who came to work today with a nifty tennis racket he found at a "Great Price."